


Foreplay

by StupidBolts



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Black Hat the Outer God, M/M, Millions of years on Earth and Black Hat still doesn't get foreplay, eldritch au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21887485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidBolts/pseuds/StupidBolts
Summary: Flug wasn’t good at foreplay. He hadn’t had much chance to learn, based upon his past relationships and one night stands. He’d been top, bottom, and even middle, but really those little bump and grinds didn’t even compare. Not to Black Hat standing between him and Flug’s rickety single bed in his pig sty of a room.
Relationships: Black Hat/Dr. Flug (Villainous)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Foreplay

Flug wasn’t good at foreplay. He hadn’t had much chance to learn, based upon his past relationships and one night stands. He’d been top, bottom, and even middle, but really those little bump and grinds didn’t even compare. Not to Black Hat standing between him and Flug’s rickety single bed in his pig sty of a room. His boss glared hard, though notably not as hard as usual, arms folded behind his back as Flug fiddled with his fingers.

“So... um... what br-“

“Coat off, Flug.”

“Y-yessir!” He shrugged off his lab coat, getting tangled in the sleeves for the first time in his life, of course. “W-what brought this on, jefe? I-i-if I may... ask...” Black Hat scowled, and Flug scrunched his coat in his hands like he was about to be flayed.

“What does it matter?,” Black Hat growled. “You wanted me to say it.”

“I-“ Black Hat grasped the hem of Flug’s shirt and yanked it up over his bag. He struggled with it for a moment, then pulled it off. He hunched his shoulders a bit as if it might hide his sunken in chest and the rib cage visible under his skin. “A-am I... I’m ever so sorry, jefe, that was unprofessional of me...!”

“You are the least professional scientist I have ever employed in all my centuries on this Earth. No point in apologising when you’re unbuckling your belt, Flug.” His hands paused, looking his boss nervously in the eye. 

“I... you know how... how it all works, right...?” Black Hat looked unimpressed, staring bluntly at him.

“Flug. I have walked upon this planet before your species had even discovered fire. If you really think I’ve never mated with a human before, you must be under some peculiar fantasy possibly governed by fetish.” Flug cringed, face going red and hurrying to finish undoing his belt. Black Hat’s peculiar speech patterns and phrasing still caught him off guard sometimes. The longer his sentences got, the more eccentric and indecipherable the language became. Flug had decided, in his own private observational notes on the horrific entity who wrote his pay cheques, that it was quite clear that English wasn’t Black Hat’s first language. Quite possibly no human language was. Black Hat was, in essence, a foreigner who still hadn’t fully grasped all the nuances of the local tongue and probably didn’t feel a need to. It was fascinating really. “Now take the bag off already.”

Flug flinched, then gulped and tentatively lifted the edge of the paper bag with his thumbs, pausing halfway. It made sense, he knew, taking it off for this was only polite. It was nothing Black Hat hadn’t seen before, he’d been required to show him his face the day he hired Flug. But it was still his comfort space, and as much as he’d like to have Black Hat in his bed, he was a far stretch from being comfortable with him. He peeked up. Black Hat looked bored but patient, looking down from the tip of his non-existent nose. “W-would you look away...? Or at least close your eyes...” The ancient creature huffed, then turned on his heel and faced the bed rather than Flug, nose turned up. Flug pulled the bag off quickly, dropping it on the ground. Black Hat didn’t turn back, and a little tension ebbed from Flug’s bones when it clicked that he was waiting for his permission to look. “Do... do you need to take your clothes off, o-or are they... part of you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He reached for his lapels and shucked off the long black coat, letting it slide into one hand, then dropping it. The tailcoat turned to smoke as it pooled on the floor, and vanished. Black Hat folded his arms behind his back again, deep red button-down shirt and black braces left alone, and Flug struggled to gulp. His boxers were getting a little uncomfortable.

“J-jefe-“

“Well?”

“Um?”

“You really need to learn that I am always aware of exactly what you want, Flug. Even when you don’t.”

What he wants. What did Flug want right now? Was that an invitation to do whatever he wanted? Somehow he felt like it was a trick. He stepped closer, looking up at the back of the hat, and shakily reached round. His shaky fingers found the clasps to the braces, fumbling with them for a solid minute before he managed to get them open. He pulled them back over Black Hat’s shoulders, noting that they looked far leaner without that turned up collar. He undid the back clasp, and paused with the braces in his hand. He got a giddy sense of excitement for a moment, and let them slide from his hand, watching with glee as they poofed into thin air just like the coat. “Are you enjoying yourself back there?” Flug tensed, cheeks tinging in embarrassment. About to have sex with the world’s most notorious and evil villain and he was getting excited over magic clothes. 

“S-sorry, jefe.” There was a stifled grunt that, in his mind at least, he pretended could have been a chuckle. He reached back round Black Hat’s shoulders again, hooking his finger into the knot of his tie, and feeling his way through pulling it loose. He went for the buttons next, getting no further than two before a clawed hand snatched his wrist and made him yelp.

“That will do, Flug.”

“S-sir!” Flug went very still, and Black Hat slowly released his arm. He let out a hushed sigh of relief, then wandered what was next.

Hesitantly, he rested his hands on his boss’s chest, pressing his cheek to the back of his neck, and rather clumsily slid them down his front, coming to rest on the hem of his trousers. He waited a moment, in case he was grabbed again, then began feeling for a zip or buttons. He found a hook clasp first, then a zip, slowly undoing them. It then struck him that he in fact had no idea what he’d find, and his hands paused. Black Hat was quiet for a moment. “... you forgot again.”

“... th-that you know what I want?”

“Correct.” Flug’s hands slid into Black Hat’s trousers, and thank god, what he felt was perfectly familiar to him. He sighed in relief, and may have pressed a little closer to his back. He groped lightly, getting a slight huff.

“W-would it be different if I liked women?”

“It would have.” Flug tilted his head curiously. Changing gender on the fly, whenever he saw fit. Then, should he start referring to Black Hat as ‘they’? At least in his notes. He doubted very much that gender had much of a firm standing to a creature that could change it at will. Flug’s hands made soft sounds against the black trousers, stroking and feeling until an elbow jabbed him in the ribs. “Stop that.”

“S-sorry, jefe...” Black Hat glanced over his shoulder at an angle, glowering down at him. “I-is there a method or-?”

“No, that’s just not what I want.” Flug paused, then nodded and started picking at Black Hat’s shirt. Real silk, or made to feel real?

“Thanks for... you know.”

“Don’t. I believe this is what they call pity sex.”

Well any confidence or comfort Flug may have built up over the past ten minutes got crushed faster than a bug under his shoe. His arms dropped to his sides and his head sagged. “Oh...”

Black Hat looked back again, puzzled. “You’re going to stop?”

“Well... I suppose... n-no...” He fiddled with his hands. He hadn’t expected much more than, maybe, just a quick fling. But the particular word ‘pity’ was more than a little... disheartening.


End file.
